It's Wednesday!

So the doc's office said I would hear from the nutritionist and the psychologist by today.

I am 1 for 2! I heard from the nutritionist today.  I was so excited when she called, I was thinking "Finally, a step forward in my WL journey!"  But that feeling was short term...she was calling to set up my phone appointment! Crap! But on the other hand, my appointment is tomorrow!

Now I am nervous...I actually have to tell someone out loud all of the food I have been shoveling down my pie hole and it made me wonder how it must be to her.  She talks to people all day who have the same eating issues that I do.  Do you think she ever wonders "Why don't they just stop eating?!" Does it disgust her inside and she doesn't let it show?  I mean, she is a nutritionist...how many fat nutritionists do you see every day?

So what kind of awful bad things am I gonna tell her tomorrow?
-I eat fast food, a lot...sometimes more than once a day
-I can eat a pound of sunflower seeds during the day, by myself!
-My last job was at a hospital and I would eat there sometimes twice a day and maybe sneak up to the coffee shop for a blended coffee and a chocolate muffin and sometimes french fries all at once!
-I would hide bags of candy in my office drawers and eat the whole bag during one day
-I would stop and get fast food on my way home and then eat dinner with my husband again 2 hours later

I can go on and on.  It's very depressing when I look back on all the money I wasted when I really wasn't hungry.  What the hell was I doing buying all that food??  How much money have I personally pumped into McDonald's or Wendy's?  I should have bought stock, might have seen some return on my "investment" instead of just having to buy bigger and bigger clothing.

I am also a member of the Clean Your Plate club...a longtime member.

I can't stop eating even tho I know I am full because there will still be food left.

One of the things that really stuck out on how my eating has gone out of control was when the drive through worker knew it was me on the other end of the screen...just by my voice.  He said he knew it was me when it was about 4:45pm and someone was ordering a chicken nugget meal.  He even noticed when I had purchased a new car.  I was so embarrassed I didn't go back for months.  Not like it mattered, I found another McDonald's.  Ugh.

I am hoping that the nutritionist doesn't say I have some wacko eating disorder and that I can't be approved till I go through counseling.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.  I will post tomorrow on how it went.

Happy Cinco De Mayo and Happy Birthday to my hubby.